//upload.PMSlaps.com

Classified Ads are FREE! No Charge! Gratis! It's like free sticker stock!




To see your Classified Slap in the next Priority Mag print edition, you might want to start your subscription now so you can post it on your bedroom wall as proof. You can also scroll down to see an example of the ad display format when published on our website.

Classified Slaps Code of Conduct
  • This (very slow to respond) form accepts reader-submitted text-only ads for publication in future issue(s) of Priority Mag.
  • Submissions should get an email receipt within twenty minutes.
  • Deadline for submissions is Midnight of the cutoff date is listed with each upcoming issue.
  • One Submission per Email Address per issue, we'll select your most recent Submission.
  • Duplicate Submissions will be deleted.
  • No Emoji, UTF-8 text only (( > ^ < )) makes owl slightly disappointed, but hopeful!
  • No encoded HTML, \n, \cr, \lf, double spacing, or forced break characters allowed.
  • No choice of font selection, type size, column location, column width or line breaks.
  • Ad copy will be typeset as centered text with equal characters per line in a fixed-width font.
  • Social Media Handles, Phone Numbers and Web URLs allowed!
  • We will check contact info submissions (Security Check URL's & Emails, Authenticate Social Media Usernames, Verify Phone Numbers) before publication.
  • Nothing Illegal (slander, libel, threats, MLM's, NFT's, Crypto Rug Pulls, Ghost Gun sales)
  • We will NOT fix your spelling - proofread your own work!
  • Any abuse of this form will have their email address gleefully added to the RNC and MAGA Donors email lists.

Example Slaps

Priority Mag Issue 12 will be the first issue to feature Classified Slaps, tag our wall now for free listings and subscribe to Priority Mag to see it in person!

  • GET IN ON THIS FREE CLASSIFIED ACTION!! Visit http://upload.pmslaps.com to immortalize your own 140 characters in any sequence you desire!
  • Interested in Time travel? Meet here last Thursday, 7pm.
  • If you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with your own eyes, don't invent it with your small mind or share it with your big mouth.
  • Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever.
  • Cleavage, something you can look down on and approve of at the same time!
  • Dear people who type in all lower case, We are the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse. Sincerely, Capital Letters
  • GET IN ON THIS FREE CLASSIFIED ACTION!! Visit http://upload.pmslaps.com to immortalize your own 140 characters in any sequence you desire!
  • I saw a sign that said 'Watch for children' and I thought, 'That sounds like a fair trade'.
  • People who make you feel special are keepers. Anyone with such good taste has to be admired.